"What?" number one is in reference to the always super fun infertility. It is always fun to have times intercourse, right? For two years with no baby just plain sucks. All the "relaxing" and vacations and job changes and moving didn't make it happen, because as you all know that if you relax you will get pregnant and/or you will get pregnant at the worst possible time. We finally went to a fertility specialist and found out that Male Factor Infertility was the cause of all our problems or as my DH(Dear Husband) likes to tell it his sperm are on sabbatical. Of course they still put me through the entire battery of fertility tests just to make sure I didn't have any problems under the hood. I had more doctor's up in my business than I can count. I don't actually remember a few of them because I met them in the procedure room and was given great drugs that made everything warm and glowing. I do know that the anesthesiologist thought I was hilarious because I told everyone that I loved them. I am sure that I meant it, I felt like the bomb.
Two years of trying and one cycle of IVF and bam we get to "What?!" number two. After years of thinking there would be no kids for us I had very little faith that IVF would actually work. So surprise surprise, two embryo's in two heartbeats four weeks later. Oh yes, and oh shit we were having twins. Pregnancy for me was not awesome. Pregnancy for me equaled 24 hour puking for 37.2 weeks. Puking through anti-nausea meds and losing weight the first 24 weeks. It was so much fun, not. I always read about the pregnancy glow and was looking forward to looking awesome, not this bitch. I got beat with the ugly pregnancy stick. Not only was I incredibly pale I had pimples worse than I did when I was 14. I also had lanky oily hair which I was only able to wash every other day because guess what? Upright meant puking. Fun stuff puking with shampoo in your hair with a giant belly. I was happy when it was over. I begged for c-section at 37.2 weeks and got it which led us to "WTF?!!"
The birth of my baby boy G and baby girl J. The day started off just fine, which meant I didn't get sick and we headed to the hospital for a 12:00 pm surgery time. I had a great nurse Lorelei(yep real name, which was awesome because I love
Gentlemen Prefer Blonds) do all my pre-op. It was great that she pitched shit on the anesthesiologist when he was trying to do my spinal, he wanted me to curve more but I didn't have the ability to and she let him know that it wasn't happening so he better just do his job. After I couldn't feel a thing, which is the strangest thing I ever felt they began. First they popped G out, literally, he was in my pelvis so they had to pull him out, earning him his first black eye in the process. There was a lot of noise, congratulations and talking. Then they pulled out J and there was dead silence. It didn't register with me at the time that everyone had quit talking but I remembered later. I found out in recovery from a nurse what the silence and all the rushing around was about. Baby J had a birth defect that no one knew about. Multiple ultra-sounds hadn't picked it up and I hadn't done any of the blood tests. She has a neural tube defect that was eventually diagnosed as a lipomeningocele. We will get into the eventually another time. Suffice to say it was traumatic and it sucked but she is kick ass and is defying every odd and is the most fantastic gift ever.
